Fortune Cookies
by ladybug1115
Summary: She can't tell if it's a coincidence or if there was something to those cookies.


**Fortune Cookies**

Disclaimer: Characters are not my property. No infringement is intended. Fortune cookie quotes from .

**1. An unexpected event will bring you poverty and unhappiness.**

Mrs. Puckett loves bikinis. She buys them whenever she can and wears them around the house to "break them in." She has quite the collection and that collection keeps growing. However, there are two things she loves more than her fugly swimsuits. Drinking and men. Almost every night her youngest daughter comes home to an empty home thinking one of two things: I should have stayed with Carly or I should have gone to boarding school with Melanie.

It happens on a Tuesday; Sam comes home to the sound of her mother's bed squeaking in the next room. The girl does the same thing she always does in these situations. She goes into her room and locks the door before plugging her PearPod headphones into her computer and turning PearTunes on as loudly as she can.

The new boyfriend orders take-out for them to eat, but gets called away before it arrives. Sam has to pay the delivery boy for dinner because her mom has once again lost her job and tossed her savings away on Jack Daniels.

Mrs. Puckett apologizes and then begs her daughter to lend her some cash to buy the new boyfriend a present.

Sam gives her mom twenty dollars like she always does. She'll take it back tonight when her mom has passed out on the sofa. Sam takes the trash out after dinner and returns to find a different man following her mom into the master bedroom. Sam sighs and returns to her room.

She wakes up in the morning to find her bedroom a disaster area; well, more so than usual. When Sam spies her wallet tipped over on her desk, she knows she won't be going with Carly and Freddie to the movies tonight.

Her dumb drunk of a mother has robbed her.

**2. You should NOT have eaten the chicken.**

Sam's mom is dating a butcher this week; she likes this guy because he brings tons of meat. Sam loves her meat! He actually cooks for them too which is very helpful as neither woman can cook.

One hour after dinner on Thursday, and about ten minutes after Sam showed up at Carly's house unexpectedly, she clamps a hand over her mouth and runs to the bathroom. Carly and Freddie blink at each other from their bean bags as they try to determine why their friend rushed off so quickly.

Both brunettes turn to watch a much disheveled Sam return to the studio. She's clutching the trash can from the bathroom in both hands as she stumbles and falls onto Freddie. He grunts as she knocks the wind out of him, "What the fetch?"

Carly shows much more concern for the girl, "Sam?"

"I'm going to die," Sam moans.

"Did you lick _another_ swing set?" demands the young man.

"Evil chicken," she mumbles grabbing for the trash can again. Freddie holds her hair back as she gags into the can and Carly leans down to rub her friend's back gently.

**3. Help me! I'm trapped in a fortune cookie warehouse.**

Her second semester in college, Sam Puckett spends her Spring Break in Honduras building houses for the poor as part of her required community service credit. She failed to reach her required amount last semester and she has to make up for it now or the college will kick her out. Stupid idiots.

The day before the group leaves, they visit a factory there to "better experience these poor souls' lives."

The American owners give them the tour. It's not at all interesting and Sam's friend convinces her to sneak off so the girl can do some snooping for an article for the school paper. Sam only goes with her because she's bored and wants something more exciting to do.

They break off from the group in a storage warehouse for whatever product this company makes. Sam blindly follows her friend around, but neither young woman can find anything interesting. They are just about to leave and catch up with the group when the lights all go off.

Sam's friend shrieks and Sam sighs at the girl's stupidity. It is Sam who wanders around trying all the doors only to discover they are all locked and it is the friend who finally calls their chaperone to get them out.

**4. Secrets await you at the city dump.**

Her first day as a US Marshal finds her knee deep in…well she really doesn't want to think about exactly what she's standing in. Trash and mysterious things she does _not_ want to know about. She's assisting the local PD because over half of their guys are out sick with the flu.

They are trying to find the remaining body parts that go with a little girl's head.

Sam squats back down in the pile of trash to continue sifting. It will be dark soon, but the team won't give up until they have searched every pile at this dump. They've already brought lights in so the team can work through the night.

Sam Puckett is determined to find the son of a bitch who chopped up a five-year-old.

**5. Your hard work will probably never pay off.**

Sam is in her second year at Fugitive Task Force. She's already decided that not every case has a happy ending.

The kindergarten picture of a little brown-haired girl sits on her desk as a reminder that sometimes the worst scum on the earth can manage to evade capture.

**6. I know what you did last Thursday. NOT COOL.**

Sam has the invitation to her high school reunion posted on her refrigerator to remind her that she RSVP'd already and she has to go. She promised Carly.

So, that Friday evening, Sam slides herself into a black-and-blue striped long-sleeved dress that ends just above her knees and hides the wound on her arms from the uncooperative fugitive. She uses the loose skirt of the dress to strap her back-up weapon to her thigh. She uses the scrunchy boots to hide a knife.

She meets Carly at the front of the gym. The friends hug and Sam hides the grimace of pain at the pressure on her ribs. Carly introduces Sam to her fiancé, "…and Freddie told me he'd meet us out here. Can you believe that he works with the Fugitive Task Force? I don't know what that is really, but it sounds so cool!"

Sam smirks. Yes, she does know what Fred-o is doing with his life; she runs into him every once in a while on assignment. Hell, he was there last night when that idiot resisted arrest and then shot her.

Sam spies him first; of course, she is leaning against the building so her back won't be to the crowd. "Hey, Freddork," she says when he's within shouting distance. The blue tie he has on matches the blue of the sling his arm rests in.

"Freddie!" exclaims Carly, "what happened?"

"My partner tried to kill me," he smirks at Sam. At Carly's startled expression he remarks, "It was an accident. She was aiming for the guy holding his weapon on me."

**7. You will fall in love with a total nerd.**

Sam's not sure when, but at some point, she and Freddie stared hanging out together after work.

They started going on real dates.

They moved in together.

They got married.

They even raised twin boys.

She has no idea how it happened and she still calls him a nerd and a dork and crazy every chance she gets.

**8. Sorry. **** You have no fortune.**

One day, Sam is looking through boxes in the attic of old iCarly props for the grandkids to play with when she comes across a notebook she used to write her blog entries in during Mrs. Briggs's class. On a whim, she opens it and starts to read.

She has to laugh when she comes to a blog where she talks about crazy fortune cookies that never make any sense and won't come true.

At the time, she was only mad because the cookie said she would fall in love with a nerd. Looking at the cookies now, however, she can link each one to an event in her life.

She can't tell if it's a coincidence or if there was something to those cookies.


End file.
